never

realized how mean someone could be to the one that they love. why can't i just be normal. for once. please. i'm seriously begging here. i have no idea what the hell is my problem but i just need to duct tape my mouth shut. all the time. i can't believe you could love someone like that (that being me). although you haven't said it yet.. so i at least hope you love me. but i can't doubt you again that's what started this whole stupid pointless mess that i still do not understand. nothing new, though. back to square one. dun dun dunn. duunno what to do now. dunnnoo what just happened. dunnooo what what what what whom what when where why HOW you oddball you just ruin the whole alliteration dontcha. jerk. i must seriously be going insane. i should really stay out of peoples lives. no wonder i dont have many friends. i ruin everything. hahaha. fantastic ! i haven't eaten barely anything all day ! and i'm not hungry ! life. "i wish it to be sound and sweet, not to need diet and bleeding" oh free speech essay, how you know me. i am actually enjoying this 200 point weight on my shoulders. gets my mind off things. things that i somehow manage to screw up. things that ugh. things. stuff. junk. life. hahaha. woooowoo. i want po tay toeeess. soo badly. but i'm not hungry and i might just throw up. morning sickness by the way ! DEFINITELY threw up this morning. haven't told one person! it's a little gross yeah ? exactly! maybe i'm pregnant ! hahahaha. i'm kidding i'm not pregnant. i do not know what i want to do with my life myyy feet hurt and all i've been doing is sitting. oh wait i ate chips and salsa after school for a little bit ! wish i hadn't. stupid sodium. fat. gym membership here i come. make some good bucks offa mee. i don't know what i'm saying. would i rather feel nothing at all than feel sadness ? hahaha i have nooo idea ! what does that even mean. i dont even know and i said it! ha! school! schoolschoolskool2kool4school fool! OHGAWWDD hunnaayy. spanish quiz manana. sisi! no bueno. i dont speak spanish uhhhhh so much for nothing exciting going on in my life. if you could call depression (again) exciting. i DID think we were past this well, you never do anything and that is the furthest thing from sarcasm, i'm sorry, i DID think I was past this. like for serious. but woahwoah i didn't even do anything! or did i ? and yet i probably did, yes i did. because i always do someshangg, i wouldn't be me if i didn't ! or would i? rhetorical questions are soo lame what am i doing with my life i mentioned that before i have NO IDEAA what i wanna do with my life yo. i wanna chiiilll wit da homies and slack off and marry some rich guy who buys me stuff and makes me famous. or do i wanna go to school and college and make some huge medical discovery? it just took me forever to find the c key. i'm not smart enough for college if i can't find the first letter of it on the keyboard. hey if i'm rich i could just PAY someone and FUND the research for a medical discovery. yeah.. maybes babes. we'll see what the future GOTTAGOYO maybe be back in a bit i have nothing better to do or talk to or conversate with even though i conversate with like no one now. "who was the last person you had a deep conversation with ?" gee i dunno. people still do that ? whattt bye.

XODUMBASS